Feb. 26, 2012 at 1:15pm with 12 notes
Reblogged from sanaa-tamir
[TW: cis fauxpology nonsense] I am sorry.

sanaa-tamir:

3dela:

I am sorry for saying that the phrase “die cis scum” is immature, and that so many people took that as a personal attack against all trans* people.

I am sorry that I offended people with my post.

I am sorry my words were taken as trying to police, control, silence, or belittle trans* individuals who use and support the phrase. That was not my intent.

I am sorry that some of the examples in my post were triggering and upsetting. I did include trigger warnings with the post, but that doesn’t change the fact that the examples were upsetting and perhaps not necessary.

I am sorry the post was seen as a cis person trying to dictate what trans* people can and cannot say. That was not my intent. I wanted to express my opinion on what I (still) feel is a violent phrase, but I didn’t mean for it to come across as trying to assert any sort of authority over the trans* community.

I am sorry so many people felt I was invalidating their experiences with violence and oppression. Your experiences and reactions are valid. I have said that more times than I can count. I do not and will not agree with the use of the phrase, but I recognize it IS a valid response. It IS an understandable response. And for some people, it is very empowering. 

I am sorry parts of my post came off and flippant and dismissive. On rereading it, I can certainly see how my words could be viewed that way. I should have done a better job expressing myself. I should have thought more carefully about what I was saying and how I was saying it.

I am sorry that the way I expressed my opinion made people feel under attack, disrespected, marginalized, unheard, offended, or silenced.

And I am sorry if my responses to the flood of hate I have received in any way further alienated people in the trans* community. I have no desire to further compound the pain, violence, oppression, hate, or marginalization trans* people face everyday.

I know my position as a cis person makes my judgment and perspective on any trans* issue far more privileged. While I do watch what my trans* loved one go through on a daily basis, I am not personally experiencing it, which puts me leaps and bounds ahead of them already. I am more emotionally “removed” (for lack of a better word) from the experiences of trans* people and therefore have the privilege of reacting less impulsively/instinctively, with less emotion and less anger. Expecting others to be able to do the same is inappropriate given my position of privilege.

So, I am sorry. The original post has been removed. I appreciate the feedback I received from both people who agree and those who disagree with me. But given how upsetting the post clearly was to so many people, I have chosen to delete it out of respect and concern.

Sincerely,

Lauren

Apology not fucking accepted, you little shit. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Your “position as a cis person” is to SHUT UP. And no1curr about your goddamn intent. Did you not pass Allies 101 or something? Fuck’s sake.

Reblogging this only to preserve it really, so you can’t delete it and pretend it never happened. No, I will NOT “move on” from this.

Ok seriously, what the fuck?

I made a mistake. You write a rant about it. People pointed it out, so I delete the original post because it isn’t worth offending anyone else. The post was wrong, so I deleted it. And then you bitch about me deleting it. I write a heartfelt public apology and send you a personal private apology, and then you bitch about the fact that I apologized?

I am certain that nothing I say will make any difference to you. It appears you have chosen to hate me, which is fine I suppose.

I am sorry for the original post. And since I chose NOT to pretend like it didn’t happen, I wrote a public apology. Since you don’t have any interest in having a civil discussion with me, I suppose I am done here.

Thanks.

  1. jeremyml reblogged this from 3dela and added:
    is this shit, seriously? SERIOUSLY? What...want than this? Allow other people
  2. walkingmyownpath reblogged this from sanaa-tamir and added:
    In case folks need a reminder of what NOT to do in an apology. Seriously though, trying to make excuses or rationalize...
  3. sanaa-tamir reblogged this from crimelapse and added:
    she’s trolling or something with how she completely fails at everything. Except I’m not naive enough to
  4. crimelapse reblogged this from sanaa-tamir and added:
    I can’t get over “you have chosen...hate me” … It’s like really ya wanna be pals now?...
  5. queerio19 said: Thank you for this apology. I didn’t see your original post but given how you responded here (and in the past), I take this post as humble and acknowledging of your privilege. I think sanaa-tamir’s response to this post was uncalled for.
  6. 3dela reblogged this from sanaa-tamir and added:
    Ok seriously, what the fuck? I made a mistake. You write a rant about it. People pointed it out, so I delete the...
  7. 3dela posted this